Virtually all of society's contemporary problems can be traced to a failure in the socialization of the young. The nihilism of the 1960s counter-culture, in one generation, wiped away centuries of understood social norms and the expectation that children (at least in respectable society) are to be reared in such a manner that they grow up to behave within a particular set of constraints. The entire notion of "self government" upon which the United States was supposedly founded can only exist in a context in which the young are socialized to behave in a self-governing manner (drive at reasonable speeds, do what you say you will do, don't steal, don't cheat people, tell the truth, etc.). Because of the advent of post-modernity (which is not altogether a bad development), socializing the young has become stigmatized. There seems to be a desire (whether active or simply motivated by laziness) that children should be raised as "blank slates" and encouraged to come up with their own set of values as they interact with the world. Folly does not even begin to describe this approach.
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15)
Our experience with post-modernity has been necessary for social progress, and it has broken down many social norms that needed to be discarded. The culmination of the Enlightenment and the Age of Reason into a nearly 75 year period of questioning and rejecting almost everything has allowed for the emancipation of women, the inclusion of openly gay people in mainstream society, the Civil Rights movement and a dramatic reduction in systemic racism, the rejection of the Church's anti-reason claims (6,000 year old earth, etc.), and many other things that have been net-positive. But, as Chesterton said, "the whole point of opening one's mind, as one's mouth, is to eventually close it around something solid."
We can no longer afford to ignore the issue of socialization in our public discourse. The almighty supremacy of the State in contemporary society has emerged because there are no other arbiters of right and wrong in the post-modern world. The arbitrary nature of the State and its claims to legitimacy strike at the core of the history of human existence. When we had a King, we longed for the "rule of law," and now we have no rules but the law, nor could we bear them if we did, as the law has transformed from a check on the tyrant to the tool of tyranny for the political class and the bureaucracy.
All of this is a proper preface for our discussion of the destruction of masculinity and the "end of men," for we must understand the decline of the male in the context of the failure of socialization of the young and the elevation of the State as the most important (perhaps the only) institution in society. Men have been socialized in a classroom environment in the public schools (at least in America) where the vast majority of their teachers are females, and where now the vast majority of school administrators (particularly in the lower grade levels) are also females. The feminization of schools means that young men are excoriated for their "bad" behavior while girls are rewarded for being conformist rule-followers. The feminized school system is heavy on rules and short on meaningful discipline. Male children, as a result, rebel against the rules knowing they will not be punished in any meaningful way.
As Alastair pointed out in his post, the school system has come to lack any competitive features that encourage males' ceremonial combat, other than athletics. Because the contemporary distortions of masculinity consider bookishness to be a feminine trait, and in-class competitiveness has been discouraged by the ill-considered notion that "everybody is a winner," the last haven of "masculinity" is in sports, not academics, and 40 years of this crisis has led to the logical end--the middle-aged man whose life revolves around drinking beer and watching sporting events.
Consequently, we must reconsider how we educate and socialize young men, from the time they are infants all the way through college graduation. Coeducational schooling must be abandoned en masse. Here I argue not for single-sex schools, but merely for single-sex classrooms. The learning environment should be free from the learning style conflicts that necessarily arise from one's gender. Young boys should have predominantly, but not exclusively, male teachers, while young girls should have predominantly, but not exclusively female teachers. As they progress toward high school, these numbers can gradually move toward an even split.
The coeducational classroom environment is far more destructive to boys than girls. Boys engage in their ceremonial combat in inappropriate ways in the presence of females in order to impress them, even from a very young age. In the classroom setting, this often means they do say through acting out, engaging in an attempt to prove their dominance over the ultimate authority figure, the teacher. Perhaps this is one reason I, as a gay male, was able to excel over my other male classmates as a child--I did not have the biological, psychological, or sociological drive to dominate my teachers in order to impress the females. Gay male courtship also follows far different patterns (and within the gay population, far more diversity as well, depending on the roots of one's homosexuality, be they primarily genetic, biological, or psychological), so there was also no corresponding need to impress the other young males. This helps offer an alternate explanation of why gay males have excelled generally in education in the last 20 years other than the fact that they "fit in" the feminized educational environment.
Within the male classroom environment, grading standards must be manifestly different than the grading standards used for females. Throughout the school year, the male grading system should be based on a strict bell curve, with publicly posted grades and a greater emphasis on oral evaluation with the other students present. Where this might be intimidating and damaging to the female student, it causes adrenaline-driven learning, stimulating the natural biological disposition of the competitive young male. Boys and young men, motivated by the desire to avoid public embarrassment and underperformance, will finally have a reason to seek out assistance from their instructors for material with which they are struggling. A system of secret grading that allows a boy to hide his underperformance only compounds the problem, and seeking assistance would be perceived to be an admission of their failure. In the competitive, public setting of the classroom, the embarrassment of asking for help after class would be considered by the young student to be the lesser evil when juxtaposed with the prospect of public excoriation.
Given only one year of implementing different teaching styles with males, standardized test scores would equalize between the genders. Male students should be encouraged to defeat their classmates on exams, while female students should be encouraged to "do their best." These differing approaches would exact optimal performance out of young men. We have stigmatized male success and their drive to "be the best", and that is why they have become lazy an unproductive.
If we want to look to the areas where men are still wildly successful in life, we need look only to the Forbes List, where males continue to dominate, even in the younger generation. What we find should disturb us--nearly all successful self-made billionaires are college dropouts. Where the contemporary collegiate environment has discouraged the exhibition of the biological traits that make men excel, those who managed to maintain their passion to be the best and destroy the competition simply excluded themselves from the academic setting and went off on their own. The academic setting must be reformed to encourage these traits within the context of formal education so that our successful men also possess knowledge of history, the arts, languages, and civics. Instead, they have become atomized and isolated, without proper socialization. There are positive exceptions to this--Bill Gates is surely an example of the well-rounded person who has a competent understanding of society and how to interact properly with it. But all too often, mis-socialization leads to people who commit heinous frauds in their quest to "get ahead." The consumerist culture that has emerged in the last few decades is in fact one of the symptoms of our failure to properly socialize young men and instill in them the notion that civic duty, honor, and trust are more admirable traits than owning and possessing luxury goods. If men cannot be super wealthy, they have no self-worth. The dangers of this cannot be understated.
Furthermore, proper socialization of young men must be altered to de-stigmatized what have become "feminine" pursuits. Theatre, art, music (real music, not the guitar), competitive debate, academic competitions, etc., must be encouraged. Modern women complain that they cannot find acceptable males who are refined and cultured precisely because straight males are discouraged from participating in artistic activities by the stigma attached to it. Simultaneously, gay men should be highly encouraged to participate in sports and to develop themselves physically from a young age, and to take active part in the more "alpha" male competitive pursuits. Well-rounded "renaissance" men are a great gift to society. The versatility once associated with male talent has disappeared due to the feminization of education and the stigmatization of artistic pursuits. The straight males who do participate in the arts became a special subculture like the "hipsters" since they are not accepted by their football-playing counterparts.
Our schools are not the only venue in which this proper socialization must take place. The Church and the Home are equally as important. In the Church setting, great care must be taken to show the masculinity of Biblical examples without the chauvinism that accompanies the narrative amongst modern conservative commentators. We must show boys and young men that Jesus exhibited traits of righteous anger as well as great compassion. At times he cried, at others he yelled, at still others he refrained from showing emotion at all. The Church should be a training ground for the Christ-like leadership traits of young men.
At home, fathers must take an active role in the cultivation of this new masculinity as well. Fathers must abandon their own entertainment pursuits to encourage their sons not only in athletics, but in academics and the arts as well. Fathers must accompany their sons to the symphony and the theatre. They must teach their sons about poetry and languages. They must encourage these things alongside competitiveness. Fathers, taking a more active parenting role, must allow "boys to be boys" and rather than discouraging sibling rivalry for the sake of "peace" (the mother's eternal pursuit with more than one male child present). Sibling rivalries should be channeled into healthy competitions between brothers, and in the absence of a second male child, the father must play the role of the rival, sometimes winning their ceremonial combats and sometimes allowing the child to win. The workaholic father who outsources his parenting duties solely to his wife and the schools is among the chief causes of the mis-socialization of our young men, and the more this takes place, the more difficult it is to rescue society's circumstances, since the cycle means fewer and fewer well-socialized men to serve as examples for the youth.
By synthesizing the recent degenerated view of masculinity with the historic aristocratic view of masculinity, we will simultaneously encourage a man that is both more masculine and more sensitive. Encouraging oral argumentation and verbal sparring (where understanding the opposing viewpoint is essential) in the academic setting will lead to men who can better communicate with their female partners in a relationship setting. By encouraging young men to participate in athletics and forms of academic competition, we will create men who know how to bond with each other in the absence of beer and televised football. By de-stigmatizing young men's participation in the arts, we will find men more culturally adept, restore them to their historically prodigious production of refined music, art, and literature. Like the Gentlemen of old Europe (and old America), they will be well-groomed and well-dressed, and yet ready at any moment to spar with an opponent on the "battlefield" whether in a match of physical or intellectual prowess. These are men who can be proud of themselves, with clear aspirations that are not rooted merely in the accumulation of material possessions or an escape from the pain of failing to do so (which leads to alcoholism, sports addictions, and heavy use of recreational drugs).
I am confident that we can redefine masculinity in the contemporary context to encourage all of the positive traits of historic aristocratic masculinity but in a way that recognizes the equality and value of women in society and avoids the chauvinism that has become the ersatz masculinity of the American male who has not succumb to feminization. I am equally confident that this new masculinity will yield great benefits to young gay men, primarily in the form of more healthy and stable long-term domestic partnerships (that is a topic I will consider in the future in greater depth).
The one element that is notably absent from my proposed solution set is the State. The State is impotent to effect a new masculinity. Not only that, its interests are diametrically opposed to such an effort. The paternalistic Welfare State benefits greatly from emasculated men. Society, especially single women and single mothers, turn to the State in the absence of healthy masculinity in society. The State promises to protect us from terrorists, from economic turmoil, instability, and all of the other risks of life. The State of course cannot deliver any of these things, but the illusion, in the absence of an alternative, is sufficient. This is why women in the modern age tend to support the paternalistic State in far higher numbers than men. The numbers become even more disparate amongst unmarried women. The feminist movement's discouragement of marriage and "relying on men" has led to a dramatic rise in State intervention in everyday life. State socialism and feminism have had a symbiotic relationship over the last 40 years. The return of healthy, non-chauvinistic, masculinity can serve as a bulwark against the further advances of the State, and this is one reason we can rest assured that public schools will never implement the recommendations I have made in this essay. The educrats will claim that my recommendations fly in the face of egalitarianism, and would create a "separate but equal" scenario where women will receive an inadequate and inferior education (such claims would have no basis in fact, but it does not reduce their rhetorical value).
Churches and private associations, in conjunction with strengthened nuclear and extended families must then pick up the slack, voluntarily, out of a desire to rescue society from its coming fate (remember the dangers of bored and unmotivated men?). This is something we cannot legislate in the halls of Congress or the houses of Parliament. Rather it is something that can only be legislated in the hearts and minds of people who want to put an end to society's rapid deterioration and have decided that they will turn off the television, log out of facebook, and do the necessary work to build a society where everybody is valued, where young men and young women are socialized in a a way that encourages their best traits and talents in their own unique ways, and where everybody contributes to the creation of a rich new culture that is not rooted around base consumption. Let us hope there are more than a few people interested in doing so.
Posted via email from The Mulling Stone