A Reflection on the Unspoken

Thou goest and returnest to His leeps
Like lightning: thou dost ever brood above
The silence of all hearts, unutterable Love.
--Alfred Lord Tennyson

An important lesson in business as in life is recognizing the power of the things left unsaid and excluded. In a negotiation, it is more valuable to consider what has been left out of the deal than the jots and tittles that have been so meticulously written into it. I frequently hear people say "what is wrong with this picture?" and most often the answer to that question is that this or that thing is missing.

Yet, sometimes a thing needn't be uttered or written or illustrated in order for it to have an effect. Indeed, sometimes that which is left unsaid is the most powerful. I said to one of my business partners today "give me some credit," laughingly, to which he replied "I give you a lot more credit than you think, I just don't always tell you about it." It made me think seriously about this subject of the unuttered and unspoken.

Tennyson's term "unutterable love" takes the notion even further. Beyond just that which isn't spoken, it is that thing that cannot be spoken at all. The early 12th Century monk Bernard of Clairvaux wrote the hymn "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded," in which he says this "What language can I borrow, to thank Thee, dearest friend, for this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end." Bernard illustrates the difficulty of finding words for those things one considers to be of the highest level of love or gratitude.

It can be easier if we are consantly affirmed and re-affirmed in ourselves through the verbal expressions of others. This is not only unnecessary, but sometimes even counterproductive. For we in certain cases cannot put accurately into words the way we feel about others. It is not so much a matter of magnitude, for we certainly have words to express magnitude. We have words like "tremendous" and "grand" and even "infinite." Instead, it is that there can be so much complexity and subtlety, that truly makes the emotion special and unique, that we do not have enough shades of words in which to formulate the fullest expression of how we feel.

I am personally a verbal person. The fact that I blog on a regular basis in large quantities is perhaps proof enough of this. I have always prided myself in my ability to provoke a range of emotional responses from people using both the written and spoken word. I am finding, however, as I mature, that this is not always sufficient or even preferrable.

There is something beyond the word, beyond even the thought, that only some intangible energy can communicate. It is something of the Spirit, something genuinely metaphysical. It is that feeling, the overwhelming touch that one gets when walking away from the kind words or the bright smile or the twinkle in the eye. Sometimes it is felt from across the room, or across the span of oceans.

This intangible expression flows from the most genuine of love, the most real emotion, and the most verifiable of compassions. I also desire most intensely to more joyfully recognize and receive this kind of affection, for it is that kind that is given without ill motive to manipulate or hurt or to achieve any other hidden agenda. Perhaps all of this is why H.L. Mencken so brilliantly quipped "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

I am thankful for those in my life who communicate these things to me, and I hope I communicate them back.